At times I wish I had a bigger house. So many us stuffed into our small chalet can make me feel a little claustrophobic. But then I realize that it keeps us together. Close. We’re always within reach, constantly interacting. Relationships are built and bonds strengthened within our modest square footage.
At times I wish I had new furniture. Our couch and love seat have seen better days and it’s tempting to yearn for an updated style. But then I remember all the memories made right there on those worn pieces. Nights sitting up with a sick child, early mornings that have found me snuggled with a sweet one fresh from sleep. Hours spent reading aloud or worshiping. And I am reminded that beauty goes beyond upholstery.
At times I wish I could drive a compact, fuel efficient car. My big white 2009 Ford F-250 is not exactly my dream vehicle. But then my mind goes back to the day at the dealer when all the pieces fell into place. How we stepped onto that lot not believing we’d walk away with what we needed to accommodate our growing family. And how the Lord showed us, once again, that He is bigger than numbers and is not bound by checkbook registers. And suddenly I find that I actually love my monster of a van and the way it easily fits all the little bodies I have been blessed to share this life with.
At times I wish I had long legs or thick, flowing hair. I am a girl after all, and have an innate desire to look “pretty” for my man. But then I think on the mornings when I’m rumpled from sleep and he reallylooks at me with that smile and tells me I’m beautiful. Or when I’m wind-blown and disheveled from trying to keep up with the demands of the day, and that same grin finds me. Clearly he is seeing beneath the surface and finding something beautiful within, meant only for him, because the mirror tells me a very different story than what I see in his eyes. But mirrors tend to lie and I’m learning not to listen.
At times I wish for a day all to myself. Quiet hours where I could just relax and read or write or even sleep as I wished. But when the opportunity avails itself to me, I find it isn’t quite so appealing as I had imagined. Because my greatest blessing comes when I am at my post and fulfilling my life mission. My keenest sense of satisfaction finds me when I am serving others and not concerned with myself. My desire for “me” time has diminished over the years as I have found my heart filled with “them” and “Him” time.
Do you have a list of wishes? When you truly sit back and consider some of them, do you find that your heart is content, even as they sit unfulfilled? Because contentment is beautiful and it breeds drop-dead gorgeous babies!