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I have a friend who is gifted at balancing a hundred things while also seeing to the needs of her husband and four kids.  I have another who finds it relaxing to sit and cross-stitch or paint-by-numbers in the evening after a long day.  Yet another thinks nothing of organizing huge events for charitable organizations, while managing not to neglect her family.

I’ve got some pretty amazing friends!  But I’m not them.

Blue pillow on bed

I’ve tried cross-stitch and I’m actually pretty sure I’m allergic.  Stress-induced hives threaten to take over my body at the mere thought of tiny x’s.  Not my thing!

If somebody were to even approach me with the idea of organizing an event that people were actually going to pay money to attend, I’d either fall over laughing…or dead.  I don’t even plan family birthday parties.  Not my thing, either.

I don’t do well trying to squeeze much more than the necessities into my days.  I keep the kids fed, clothed, disciplined and happy and I love on my man.  The end.  I want to do more.  I hope to one day make a difference beyond my own front door.  But in this moment, those opportunities are rare.

I’m praying for God to open doors and asking for peace when He instead chooses to close them.  I’m asking Him to lead me to my mission field and He keeps pointing to my family.  But I want a talent.  A skill that gives meaning to my existence.

I want more.  Lord, when is it my turn?  When might you show me what my thing really is?  I feel ready now!

Silence.

He says nothing.  Not even the whispered hint of an answer and no real hope that one is ever coming.  Until the phone rang.

White telephone

The caller ID revealed the number of a long-time friend who got started on life almost two decades before me.   I snatched up the phone, eager to hear her voice.  But it wasn’t the sound of her gentle words that thrilled me…it was the message they held.

With no clue what I’d been battling in my heart, she had called to encourage me that I was right where I was supposed to be.

She reminded me that possessing compassion is a gift beyond measure.  And that while, in this season, it may most directly be played out in the home, it ultimately reaches well beyond.  Forgiveness is a “talent” that we’re entrusted with and should never attempt to bury.  Love is often the gift of choice and multiplies the more we choose it.

Right now, those are my things.  I can look for the good in a person or a situation.  I can forgive the bad.  And love is something I have in abundance.  My heart longs for more, but my God says this is enough for now.  I’m chomping at the bit to go and He’s gently asking me to wait.  To develop these character qualities He’s instilled in me.

Yellow flower

One day, He whispers. One day I’ll give you wings to fly.  Right now, I want you to walk while you spread my love.  Start in your home, fill it to overflowing and let it seep out onto the world beyond.  Do things my way and you’ll find your way tucked inside.

And so I wait.  And laugh and love.  Because apparently that’s my thing!