Select Page

So I mentioned the other day that I’ve only ever received one question on this topic. Well, this week I’ve received a few more! The one I’m addressing today is likely one that many have and I’m sure the answer to it will vary dramatically from person to person. But here is my response.

QI hate dresses. They make me look heavier and I don’t feel feminine at all in them. Skirts aren’t much better. My body proportions just don’t work well with either one and my husband doesn’t enjoy seeing me in them. How can I try to dress in modest clothing without hating to see myself in the mirror?

A-First of all, I am not a skirts/dresses only woman myself. I was at one point and I’m not saying I won’t find myself back there, but I personally believe there are other ways to maintain modesty. I don’t see a Biblical manadate to wear a dress or a skirt. And if we followed the trend of the time when the Books were written, we’d see our men walking around in long tunics. What I do find is a scriptural admonition to adorn ourselves with feminine grace.

1 Timothy 2:9-10
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

This doesn’t offer a model for dress so much as it does a standard. We are to dress as is fitting for a woman professing godliness. Due to the decline of moral society, adhering to this guide will likely be more exclusive than inclusive, but I do feel there is room for individual preference.

One thing I think is so important when selecting clothing is to consider this grave scripture that is directed at our very visual counterparts.

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

That’s serious stuff! It’s natural to enjoy somebody “noticing” you, and nothing gives a girl a boost quite like a man admiring her beauty. But unless it’s beauty seeping out from the heart, it’s best if it isn’t put on display. {Except for your husband, of course!}

So my practical answer to your question is not so much what you should wear, but more how you should wear it. Choose clothing that fits you well and suits your body type. It’s perfectly fine to select items that flatter you in an understated way. Certain colors work with some skin tones better than others, so don’t discount the value in simply choosing your colors carefully. Pay attention to fabrics and resist the urge to buy anything that’s sheer, even if it’s pretty. Watch out for necklines and avoid those that plunge or are loose. Or layer those items with a shell underneath.

If you are choosing to wear slacks, be mindful of fit. Selecting pants that are “loose” around the bottom and hips doesn’t mean you have to sport the baggy look. And if you have pants in your closet that fit a little more snugly, pair them with a tunic or long sweater.

Most of all, be open to how the Lord leads. Don’t let this issue take front seat in your spiritual life…only He belongs there. Ask Him to guide you to choices He’ll be pleased with. And don’t forget the most beautiful curve on a woman’s body is that of her smile!

The discussion continues on Facebook…I’d love to have you join us there!