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Hannah violin lesson

I scurried around, hustling to get the house in order and a decent meal on the table.  We had company coming and I still hadn’t showered.  I rushed from the office to the living room, pushing wildly through the swinging glass door and nearly knocking out one of my toddlers.  Poor little guy looked at me bewildered as I patted him and quickly moved on.

A short time later I was serving up plates at the kitchen counter, when I saw her.  She stood in front of the window with a baby astride each hip.  Seemingly oblivious to the combined weight of her little brothers, she chattered with them about something they saw in the yard.

I watched as she took the time to smile at them, looking straight in their eyes knowing the moment wouldn’t last.  I saw her ease them to the floor and settle in to play, giggling at their antics.  Unhurried and undistracted, she gave herself to them and they loved her for it.

Tickling tummies and tiny toes, reading books and playing trucks…she lived in the moment with them.  For them.  Her mind wasn’t on cleaning up her room, that difficult math assignment or when she could get away for some “Hannah” time.  She simply gave–and by giving she was filled.

Tears filled my eyes as I took it all in.  This beautiful child of mine giving me the gift of perspective.  Teaching me to be governed by my heart and not my to-do list.

In a way it hurt.  Seeing her do it so flawlessly.  What’s wrong with me, that I can’t keep my focus on the part of my job that truly matters?  But then I heard His quiet voice, assuring me He knows I have far greater responsibility than my 9 year old.  Life calls me in so many directions and requires that I be so many things to so many people.  He understands and He was asking me to see myself as He does.  Both the good and the bad.

And He reminded me that while He placed these precious children in my care to raise for His glory, He also put me in their care that they might grow me in ways unfathomable.  They have a role to play in my “upbringing” and they are serving Him well as they fulfill it!

I left that moment with renewed desire to be the mother I saw my young daughter already being.  And by the grace of God, I will let Him change me into “such a one as these”.