Faith

Why I Celebrate Christmas {even as a Christian}

posted by Kasey

You know, the thing about opinions is that everyone is entitled to their own. And the thing about perspective is that it can shift in the fragment of a moment. I have both an opinion and a perspective and they have colored my Christmas experience in various hues throughout the years.

Growing up, money was a precious commodity that didn’t come easily. We had enough, but sometimes just barely. We lived through winters with little heat in our home. Sometimes there was none at all. We survived. And every year when Christmas rolled around, somehow gifts managed to be arranged under a tree for us. The season wasn’t about Jesus back then. Not for us, anyway. But it was about love.

When I married and had children of my own, Christmas evolved for me. My perspective shifted a bit. It was no longer about getting gifts, but giving them. Living on a modest income with little leftover, random gifts just didn’t happen. And because my childhood was filled with memories of being “loved on” each Christmas, no matter how hard the times, I wanted to share one day out of the year with my kids where they felt a little pampered. Spoiled even. Still, Christmas wasn’t really about Jesus. Not for us. We sang the songs and read the stories, but all that was just to add to the experience. This life is a journey, right? Well, my journey has been a slow one.

I’m not sure when it happened or why. But very gradually the God I was getting to know began to seem real. And that manger scene…it became something more than a sweet story. The “Christmas Story” was no longer about an untouchable girl named Mary traveling with her betrothed to a far off city where she gave birth to the Christ child in the crudest of places.

It became about the very One who spoke me into existence, coming here to save me. Me. ME. The same girl who never really needed Him. The girl who was too tired or busy or grumpy to take time to go out to meet Him. The girl who’d been carried through every rough patch in life and then secretly gave herself credit for being strong, brave and true. I was none of things and He knew it. Yet He came for me anyway.

Christmas had been re-birthed in the heart of a very grateful young mother. One who’d caught a glimpse of her nothingness.

I still give gifts at Christmas. I still have a tree and lights and cookies. And I know the date on which we celebrate isn’t His actual birthday and that we were never told to commemorate the occasion. I know there’s a less-than-lovely history associated with December 25 but I also know He knows that isn’t what I’m celebrating at all.

I’m embracing a season where the world is a little softer. I smile when I see cars lined up to travel slowly through a humble, little park to see lights that have been arranged by careful hands. I listen to my own kids squeal as those lights twinkle. I revel in the wonder of strangers being kind without provocation. There’s just something in the air and they feel it and it changes them. I delight to hear a small group of men on the back of a float singing praise to the King during the town parade…and I’m warmed as I hear the onlookers shout their approval! That just doesn’t happen everyday. Especially not in a nation who fancies itself offended at the mention of His name.

So you see, I still have an opinion about Christmas though my perspective has changed. Some might say I’m letting the world seep into my view. And I have absolute respect for those who feel led by a different perspective. I simply say that if we each allow ourselves to be led by that Star, our paths may look different but we’ll end up in the right place. And that, after all, is what matters!

Do you celebrate Christmas? Why or why not?

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Filed Under: Faith, Family, Holidays, Parenting

A 31 Day Plan to Read Through Psalms & Proverbs as a Family

posted by Kasey

The following is a plan for a Character Study through the books of Proverbs and Psalms, courtesy of my friend Brooke Hull. It’s a 31 day plan but it can easily fit in a 30 day month by simply adding the final reading selection into Day 30. These two books in particular are crammed full of nuggets of wisdom and provide a great opportunity to study as a family!

My own family has been reading through this plan three chapters in our morning worship time that we do together and then the other three chapters in our evening worship time. We are currently going through the Bible individually, six chapters a day using a different plan so it seemed wise to split up this study in two daily segments so we didn’t overwhelm anybody. Both Psalms and Proverbs read easily so it is taking us no more than 10 minutes of reading each time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I learned this from a very wise man. I keep a copy of this devotional on a 3×5 card in my Bible as a bookmark. If you follow this plan you will have read the entire book of Psalms and Proverbs by the end of the month.

**Prescription for wisdom, repeat monthly.

Before reading PRAY. My Bible says in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him (or her).”

I love that. Let’s look at it again, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ASK of GOD [the all Knowing One], who gives to ALL [not just a select few] LIBERALLY [poured out and running over] and without reproach, and it will be given to him (or her).” PRAISE THE LORD! Liberal wisdom! I know I need it in my life!

Day 1:

Psalms 1, 31, 61, 91, 121, and Proverbs 1

Day 2:

Psalms 2, 32, 62, 92, 122, and Proverbs 2

Day 3:

Psalms 3, 33, 63, 93, 123, and Proverbs 3

Day 4:

Psalms 4, 34, 64, 94, 124, and Proverbs 4 (are you picking up a pattern? ~wink~)

Day 5:

Psalms 5, 35, 65, 95, 125, and Proverbs 5

Day 6:

Psalms 6, 36, 66, 96, 126, and Proverbs 6

Day 7:

Psalms 7, 37, 67, 97, 127, and Proverbs 7

Day 8:

Psalms 8, 38, 68, 98, 128, and Proverbs 8

Day 9:

Psalms 9, 39, 69, 99, 129, and Proverbs 9

Day 10:

Psalms 10, 40, 70, 100, 130, and Proverbs 10

Day 11:

Psalms 11, 41, 71, 101, 131, and Proverbs 11

Day 12:

Psalms 12, 42, 72, 102, 132, and Proverbs 12

Day 13:

Psalms 13, 43, 73, 103, 133, and Proverbs 13

Day 14:

Psalms 14, 44, 74, 104, 134, and Proverbs 14

Day 15:

Psalms 15, 45, 75, 105, 135, and Proverbs 15

Day 16:

Psalms 16, 46, 76, 106, 136, and Proverbs 16

Day 17:

Psalms 17, 47, 77, 107, 137, and Proverbs 17

Day 18:

Psalms 18, 48, 78, 108, 138, and Proverbs 18

Day 19:

Psalms 19, 49, 79, 109, 139, and Proverbs 19

Day 20:

Psalms 20, 50, 80, 110, 140, and Proverbs 20

Day 21:

Psalms 21, 51, 81, 111, 141, and Proverbs 21

(for Psalm 51 in song by Sons of Korah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpnR3oNvEbU )

Day 22:

Psalms 22, 52, 82, 112, 142, and Proverbs 22

Day 23:

Psalms 23, 53, 83, 113, 143, and Proverbs 23

Day 24:

Psalms 24, 54, 84, 114, 144, and Proverbs 24

Day 25:

Psalms 25, 55, 85, 115, 145, and Proverbs 25

Day 26:

Psalms 26, 56, 86, 116, 146, and Proverbs 26

Day 27:

Psalms 27, 57, 87, 117, 147, and Proverbs 27

Day 28:

Psalms 28, 58, 88, 118, 148, and Proverbs 28

Day 29:

Psalms 29 59, 89, 149, and Proverbs 29

Day 30:

Psalms 30, 60, 90, 120, 150, and Proverbs 30

Day 31:

Psalms 119

Study Credit: Brooke Hull, who just happens to be one of the most sincerely kind people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. She wrote this plan out after being inspired by the wisdom of another.

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Filed Under: Bible Study, Faith, Family

DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE! {Slaying the ((Screaming Mom)) Dragon}

posted by Kasey

Well now, if you’ve been parenting long enough for the newness to have worn off you’ve likely been there. I know I have. People call them all sorts of things in jest: ankle biters, curtain climbers, monsters, little heathens. I like to call them children. And I try to call them softly, though it’s a decision and not a natural tendency.

Because if we’re going to talk straight, most of us would admit it’s easier to just yell. Skipping right over all that calling for the heart mumbo jumbo just gets the job done a little quicker. They’ll be time for mending bridges later. Like when they’re really sleepy. Or sick.

But seriously, how often do we stop to consider the way we’d respond if a person in authority over us was to resort to bullying or screaming to elicit a particular response from us?

Just imagine Jane in the workplace. Her boss isn’t terribly patient. But he’s okay with that because he’s just accepted the fact that patience isn’t a quality the Lord meted out to him in great measure. Why try to rewrite the script when you can utilize the strengths you do have? And so when he notices Jane is off her game one morning, he just goes with what comes naturally and lays into her.

“Hurry up, would you? I told you I needed that portfolio by 10am and it’s five after. You’re making me late and that really makes me mad. I want you to have it completed and in my hand in 10 seconds or…DON’T YOU GIVE ME THAT LOOK! Don’t you know it’s me who writes your paycheck? You should just be grateful you have a job. No, no, I don’t want to hear about your mother dying or your little boy who is sick again. You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve drained your bank of sick time? There is simply no excuse. You’re down to five seconds, by the way. 5..4..3……”

Beaten down and battered, Jane might manage to get that portfolio into her taskmasters hand before he finishes his countdown but the whole situation is still a bust. He’s killed a little part of her that will be very hard to resurrect. And it’s the part of her that wants to please him for the sake of pleasing him. The part that puts forth her best effort out of respect and the desire to do what is right and good. He has, however, kindled a fire under her inner rebel and that fire will rage with each subsequent verbal thrashing.

What we do to our children when we resort to yelling for discipline is very much the same. They might obey, but not likely and not well. Or at the very least, not for the right reasons.

But wait, I see you over there rolling your eyes. Another self-righteous mom telling me I need to stop yelling at my kids. Blah, blah, blah. Why won’t somebody tell me how to stop yelling. I come from a long line of yellers. If a body were to believe in generational sins, this would surely be one of them!

I get it. Honest, I do. I’d have to admit I’m a yeller by nature. Maybe even by genetics. Who knows. But really, who cares? It matters not so much why but what I’m going to do about it. And here’s what I do.

I start my day in the Word and in prayer. No, not everyday. I’m human and there are days I oversleep or just don’t get up because I can’t seem to force myself. God doesn’t abandon me on those days but He does ask that I make the effort. Even a nursing mother can have quiet time with the Lord as she gives suck to her babe. He doesn’t command a certain posture and He hears the most exhausted and desperate plea.

So I resolutely march into battle (which looks an awful lot like my kitchen) and go face to face with the enemy as he tries to seize my children. And believe me, there are many, many times in a day where I have to remind myself it really is the enemy I’m fighting and not my precious children. And because I have zero respect for satan I wouldn’t mind a bit giving him a good tongue lashing. But I have to remember…always remember…those words will first hit the delicate souls who have been placed in my care. And so I lower my voice. Or sometimes I don’t speak at all.

If you can’t be trusted in the moment, take that moment captive in prayer. Speak not until you’ve been subdued.

Yes, this means my children sometimes don’t get the message immediately. But usually I will ask them to come sit and I let them wait until it’s safe for me to talk. If your children haven’t yet been trained to respond to a command like “sit” and they’re slightly out-of-control, don’t despair. Hope is not lost. Still, don’t speak–don’t utter a single word–until you can do so in a calm voice that speaks to the heart rather than screaming at the habit. Behaviors don’t change. People do.

That first step is the same as the second and every step thereafter. You train yourself to run to the Lord first and tend to your child after. Wash, rinse, repeat.

The battle won’t be won in a day. It might not be won in a year. But each isolated victory where self (and screaming) is subdued is a stepping stone in the right direction. And each one of those steps will bring about a true heart change in your child that would never happen otherwise.

Take heart. You are truly NOT alone. There are countless screaming moms out there determined to slay the same dragon. Let’s walk through the Refiner’s Fire together…and let’s bring our children with us.

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Filed Under: Faith, Family, Homeschool, Parenting, Prayer, Relationships

And That’s Why We Choose To Homeschool

posted by Kasey

You might be surprised to learn I don’t think I’m better than those of you who don’t homeschool. I don’t fancy myself a godlier mother or one who loves her kids more. Fact is, I’m simply following in the path I believe the Lord has laid before me. And while it’s human nature to want to believe we’re the authority on whatever we’re passionate about, I have just enough wisdom to know I’m the authority on pretty much nothing.

And I’ll be honest, I’ve come across some arrogant, self-righteous homeschoolers who’ve left a bad taste in my mouth. I almost didn’t homeschool because I was so afraid of being lumped in with them. But fear is never a good reason for not doing something. Especially something you feel that God is leading you to.

I quickly learned a few things…

All homeschoolers aren’t arrogant. In fact, most aren’t.
All non-homeschoolers aren’t anti-homeschooling. I’ve met very few who are.
Homeschooling does not, in and of itself, save your children.
Non-homeschooling does not, in and of itself, destroy your children.

Because here’s the thing: We’re all kind of a mess in one sense or another. We’re all in need of a Savior to save us because we just aren’t capable of doing that ourselves.

I homeschool (understand I’m using the word I because I’m the one writing this article but homeschooling is a family affair and my husband and I decided together) because I’m not loving what I’m seeing out there. As parents, we control the climate of our home but we don’t have that same liberty at a school. And to be honest, I don’t have the energy or wherewithal to de-program my kids, day after day.

Here’s a few fast facts about my journey…

I’m not a good homeschooler. Just being honest here. I don’t function well on a schedule. I despise clutter. And guess what? Homeschooling requires a little of both most days. I just take a deep breath and pretend it doesn’t bother me. Sometimes it even doesn’t.
I’m not organized. At least not in the way a good teacher might be. I’ve never sat down at the beginning of the year and written out plans. I barely have plans at the beginning of the week. I’m happy if I have a plan at the beginning of the day. The only reason we don’t sink is because the Lord has blessed me with the ability to perform under fire. Okay, the real reason we don’t sink is because He makes sure we don’t. Believe me, without Him we’re sunk.
I don’t have time. Good grief, how could I? I’m keeping a home and preparing meals and chasing toddlers and crying for a nap. Yes, sometimes I actually cry for it. (Yesterday I even got one!) It just isn’t possible to squeeze enough hours into the day to cover homeschooling 5 unique, individual children with any dignity. Or is it? Again, only by the grace of God. He multiplied the bread and fishes and He does the same with the time I’m willing to dedicate to that which He’s set before me.
I’m not a good student. For truly, I’m just not. I cheated my way through high school (kids, hide your eyes!) and rarely turned in a math assignment I had completed myself. For the record, I didn’t cheat on tests. I tried once and felt so guilty I went and told the teacher. I’m not sure why I felt it necessary to tell you that, but I feel better now that I have. I don’t have the gift of retention I see others have. Others, in this case, being my husband. He can read it and know it and it just sticks. I’m not jealous, though. Honest.

So you see, I don’t homeschool because I’m a natural-born teacher. (Hang on just a second while my kids stop shrieking in laughter at the thought.)

I homeschool because He’s asked me to. Right now, in this season of inadequacy and doubt. There’s nothing at all like embarking on a journey it just seems you weren’t designed for to remind you clearly of your need. And my need is great.

But so is my love and my desire to raise up children who know and love their Lord. If we get to the end of this experience and my children are a little less schooled than their peers but they know Jesus intimately and chase after Him with fervor, I will consider it a job well done. Even when it wasn’t. And all because of Him!

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I’m Sorry My Child Doesn’t Meet With Your Approval

posted by Kasey

It’s hard, you know, having a child that doesn’t fit nicely into a box. One that defies the pretty plan for a perfect family. One that makes you look like a really bad parent and who has you convinced you’ve botched the job up good. Throw in a shake or two of public disdain and you have a recipe for despair.

A child born with an obvious impairment is often extended a grace those children with hidden “impairments” aren’t granted. When he looks perfectly normal he should act perfectly normal, right? Well, of course he should. But first, could you humor me with an accurate definition of normal? Because I’m not sure I understand what that really looks like.

A Google search of the term normal turned up the following:

conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

Well now, there you have it. We’re normal, and our children are normal, so long as we conform to a usual, typical or expected standard. That’s pretty clear unless you find it just makes things more confusing. Like I do.

Say you have a child, like me, with a temper so fiery it could light up the night sky. But say also that this child has a sweet spirit and a soft heart. Maybe he explodes without warning and seems entirely incapable of not exploding. You’ve tried everything in the book…you’ve been gentle, you’ve been firm; you’ve doled out consequences for the failure to keep it all in check, you’ve issued rewards for a job well done. And after years and tears and self-condemnation you’re still faced with a child who is explosive.

Maybe you’ve mentally written your letter of resignation more times than you can count. Again, like me. There was a mistake somewhere and nobody caught it…you were assigned the wrong child and the transaction is turning out to be one big FAIL.

Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve succumbed to the social demands and expectations and you’ve completely forgotten you’ve been given a special child. Perhaps even a special needs child. Hey, people with an official diagnosis for their children get to call it that. I say those of us without that diagnosis should, too. But wait, what if we’re all special needs? You, me, my son, your daughter, that little girl down the street who eats dirt and kicks cats.

What if we kicked normal to the curb and embraced the child we have rather than clinging to the one we had hoped we’d have? It could be revolutionary!

On a normal day in my home, I live with a undersized boy with an oversized personality. He’s energetic and spirited and bright and funny. He’s crazy (in more ways than the word crazy might indicate) and loud and impulsive. He’s sweet and tender and loving and so sensitive his heart bleeds wide open when you’d least expect it.

That is a lot of conflicting personalities wrapped up in one small boy and they tangle sometimes, tripping the short fuse of his temper. He comes down just as quickly but that isn’t what people notice. They see the explosion; I see how he hates exploding.

I see the boy who got his feelings hurt and not knowing how to properly deal with that hurt, simply grew angry at the injustice. I see the boy who spoke without thinking and then grew embarrassed which looked an awful lot like he was mad. I see the boy who thinks he doesn’t quiet fit in…too big for the little boys and too little for the big boys. Not knowing how to deal with that he acts out, sealing the deal on his inability to fit anywhere.

It’s almost tragic but it’s true. My child has special needs because being “good” doesn’t come as easily to him as it does to the others.

He doesn’t need to be medicated or labeled, he needs to be loved. Not babied and coddled, but lovingly guided. Not poked and prodded and impatiently chided, but nurtured by an unfathomable love that refuses to be moved by ugly stares and whispered words from those who don’t understand.

They can never understand and that’s why God didn’t give this special child to them. He gave him to you. And me.

So how about you and I make a deal, right here today. How about we agree that we’re going to start each morning asking God to go before us. And that He’ll make us able to see our special children through His eyes and with His heart. We’ll ask for an extra dose of courage so we aren’t distracted by those people who forget life is a marathon and not a sprint. We’ll invite Him to walk beside us as we walk beside our children, not rushing them but carefully investing in each struggle they encounter.

But most of all we’ll ask Him to remind us, fresh everyday, that normal is unique to each of His children. Not withstanding the special ones!

Deal? Okay, let’s shake on it!

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Filed Under: Faith, Family, Parenting

And That’s Why I’ve Got More Children Than You Think I Should

posted by Kasey

Wait a sec, let’s start out with a little honesty here. I actually have more children than I thought I should have, too, so I’m not casting stones. I’m just throwing back the curtain to expose a few myths that have polluted my childbearing years with guilt and regret.

I began my journey into motherhood 16 years ago this month. But wait, that’s not true either. My first child was born 16 years ago and was delivered one day after his due date which means my journey really began 16 years and 9 months ago. Goodness, where does the time go?

Anyway, my point is I’ve spent more than a decade and a half being drilled on all the reasons why I should stop having children. Or to be more accurate, I’ve been schooled on all the logic of why I should have stopped several children ago. It’s good to be enlightened, you know, on the many means of prevention available in this modern-day. Because any woman worth her salt simply refuses to have more children than is seemly. Or than can fit nicely into the comfortable lifestyle of choice. And any man with a shred of decency will offer himself up to be surgically altered for the sake of ending the madness.

Unless, of course, you dare to be one of those rebels who believes God still plays a role in the process of conception. You know, one of the radicals contributing to the overpopulation of the Earth?

Or maybe it’s possible some of them were swept away by the sense of “logic” imposed upon them and tried for all they were worth to keep their family size at a minimum only to have those efforts thwarted. Because that would be me.

I’ve cried over seeing two pinks lines. And I’ve done it more than once. I was a good girl, after all, and swallowed that little pill and went faithfully for that dreadful shot. Not at the same time, mind you, but neither was effective. Both landed me with positive pregnancy tests.

And so I’ve lived out my adult life, listening to the jokes and jabs and trying to just laugh right along. What other choice do I have? Because yes, I know what causes that and yes, I have my hands full and yes, we have other hobbies and no, we’re not trying to get our own TV show.

We humans are so original with our humor, aren’t we?

And then there are those who are genuinely concerned they are paying for our over-sized family. Because if you have more than 2.4 children you must surely be incapable of supporting them. The truth is, that isn’t the truth at all. Allow me to assure you that the Norton Family is not in the finely printed list of deductions from your monthly paycheck. You won’t see us rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous and you will see that we’re well-loved by family who seem to enjoy filling in many of the little wants that might otherwise go unfilled…but otherwise we take care of our own. {No judgement on those who find themselves in a place where they’re utilizing government programs. Each situation is unique and I’m only living mine.}

Of course, others are concerned for my health. And in many ways I understand that. I’ve had a rough go since the birth of my twins and it’s easy to blame that on too many pregnancies. But the reality is, the issues I’ve struggled with are common among women who have never conceived at all. It’s always a bummer when the scapegoat gets away, I know. And I appreciate the love and concern. But I’m pretty sure the Lord doesn’t make mistakes.

I don’t have too many children and I won’t even if I were to have more.

So when you see my large white van (ain’t she a beauty?) and the passel of sweet cheeks that emerge from its doors, just know that I’ve got more children than you think I should have because He decided it would be so.

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